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Airport Security Check In :roll:
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I have had the thought to fill a small water pistol with bong water ..
& just randomly squirt bags & people {non Australians} ..

 




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Last New years my wife packed presents in my bag for my family. They scanned the bag, I was told I was carrying a knife. In a panic, I got my youngest daughter who was waiting for me to get her mum. ( she's 10yo ). She panics, as do I. I said " go get mum and ask her why she packed a knife in my bag" . Daughter starts to get hysterical, thinking I'll get locked up. Missus eventually comes towards me saying " what's taking you so long... hurry up ." Told her the situation.. Turns out it was a pate` knife and cheese board. The senior officer say it's OK and this can go through. We did have a laugh at the end of it though.
 



 
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Only time I have had trouble with security was at LAX, the best looking dumbest blonde on the planet.

She kept asking me for another boarding pass, I told her six times that it was the only one I have, but on the sixth time I informed her that one of us was a dumb fuck and it wasn't me, to which a pumped up young bloke came over and told me to remove myself from the line, I said mate you would have to be kidding, you have had only one gate open for the past 3 hours that we have been in line, Im getting on my plane, he then told me my plane had left, he said to remove yourself from the line, I just laughed at him, because of the big show for the little blonde, anyway, the woman who refused me to go forward a hour and a half earlier was standing near the railing, I walked up to her and told her that this was her fault and I would inform Qantas that you refused to allow me to come forward, then all hell break loose, the two fuckwits from Security were removed and a Qantas lady escorted me through Security and Customs, I boarded my plane with 20 minutes before LAX was shutdown for the night.

Missed my connecting flight from Brisbane to Perth, so had to wait for 4 hours before a flight I could get on, but it went to Perth via Adelaide.

In total I was in planes or airports for 36 hours.


Then it got even better when I finally got to my car, I had prepaid for my parking, the bloody ticket was now over the time that I booked so the gate wouldn't open, truly I thought about ramming the gate and just fuck off, but I pressed the help button instead, a nice lady answered and I told her about my delays, she said "How about I just open that gate for you", at that moment I thought I was talking to a angel.

Sorry I know its long winded, but its the truth. lol
 




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I get stopped every single time too.
I said to one of the guards I'd just got back from Nimbin, there'd be all sorts of shit on my boots,,,she says well they'd call the cops in that case.

Another time they swabbed four of us at once, to save time apparently.
Fuck I went right off, what if one of the others had something on them, we'd all get done.
Nope, she reckons they'll swab each one individually.
OK, so now SHE'S gone and wiped shit all over the other 3!
Fuckin dirty looks then!
 




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Ive worn my work boots on the plane a few times, yes they are steel capped so have to take them off.
Then put back on, had to get explosive  tested with them on too, always come up clean
which always makes me laugh at them, especially after I tell them that I just came from a mine site where we are using explosives continuously.

Mob of fuck heads.
 




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